Choosing a school can become a major source of disagreement after parents separate.
One parent may want the child to remain close to their existing home and friendship group. The other may prefer a school nearer their new address, a particular faith school, an independent school or somewhere that better fits the practical arrangements for shared care.
So, who decides which school a child attends after parents separate?
In England and Wales, choosing a child's education is an important exercise of parental responsibility. Where both parents have parental responsibility, they should normally be involved in significant decisions about schooling.
Neither parent should assume that the child living mainly with them gives them an automatic right to make the decision alone.
Where parents cannot agree, they should first consider whether discussion, negotiation or mediation can resolve the dispute. If agreement remains impossible, the Family Court can be asked to decide through a Specific Issue Order. A Prohibited Steps Order may also be relevant where one parent is trying to change the child's school without agreement.
The court's priority will be the child's welfare rather than which parent's preferred school is more convenient for them personally.
What Is Parental Responsibility?
Parental responsibility refers to the legal rights, duties, powers and responsibilities a person has in relation to a child and their upbringing.
Education is one of the important areas covered by parental responsibility.
A birth mother automatically has parental responsibility. A father or second parent may also have parental responsibility depending on circumstances such as marriage, civil partnership, registration on the birth certificate or a parental responsibility agreement or court order.
More than two people can have parental responsibility for the same child.
Separation does not normally remove parental responsibility.
This means that a parent who no longer lives with the child can still have a legal role in significant decisions about their education.
Routine decisions during the time a child spends with one parent do not generally require both parents to agree. Choosing or changing a school, however, is much more significant.
Can the Parent the Child Lives With Choose the School?
Not automatically.
The fact that a child lives mainly with one parent can be practically important when considering school location, travel and daily routines, but it does not necessarily give that parent sole authority over education.
If both parents have parental responsibility, the other parent should normally be consulted about an important decision such as:
Which primary school the child will attend
Which secondary school to apply for
Moving the child to another school
Choosing an independent school
Choosing a faith school
Moving the child because one parent is relocating
Removing the child from school for home education
Where a Child Arrangements Order is already in place, its terms should also be checked.
An order deciding where a child lives does not automatically mean that one parent can make every major educational decision without consulting the other.
Can One Parent Submit a School Application Without the Other?
In practical terms, one parent may be able to complete and submit a school application.
For state school admissions, applications are generally made through the relevant local authority, with parents listing their preferred schools.
However, being physically able to submit the form does not necessarily resolve a disagreement between two people who both have parental responsibility.
If one parent applies for a particular school despite knowing that the other parent objects, the underlying parental responsibility dispute may still need to be resolved.
The situation becomes especially difficult where:
Different applications are submitted
Parents list different preferred schools
One parent wants to change an existing school
A school move is linked to relocation
The application deadline is approaching
The child's address is disputed
Parents disagree about independent school fees
One parent has not been told about the proposed change
Parents should therefore try to resolve the decision before the admissions deadline rather than assuming the admissions process itself will settle the dispute.
What Happens if Parents Choose Different Schools?
The first step should usually be to understand why each parent prefers a different option.
School disputes can easily become caught up in wider conflict following separation, but the most useful discussion is usually centred on the child's practical and educational needs.
Relevant considerations may include:
Distance from each parent's home
Travel time
The child's existing friendships
Siblings attending the school
Academic provision
Special educational needs
Pastoral support
Before and after-school care
The child's established routine
Religious considerations
Admissions prospects
The effect on arrangements with each parent
The child's own wishes, depending on their age and understanding
Parents should also consider whether their preferred arrangement will work throughout the week rather than only during their own parenting time.
For example, choosing a school close to one parent's new home may create a difficult daily journey for the other parent and affect the child's ability to maintain regular time with both.
Does the Child Get to Choose Their School?
A child does not automatically have the final legal decision simply because they prefer one school.
However, the child's wishes and feelings can become increasingly important depending on their age, maturity and understanding.
A teenager's considered views about changing secondary school are likely to carry different weight from the preference of a very young child starting primary school.
The court will consider the child's wishes and feelings as part of the wider welfare assessment where appropriate, but those wishes are not considered in isolation.
The court may also consider whether the child's preference appears genuinely their own or has been influenced by the conflict between the parents.
Parents should try to avoid placing children in the position of being asked to choose between them.
What if One Parent Wants to Change the Child's Existing School?
Changing an established school can be more disruptive than making an initial school choice.
A proposed move may affect:
Friendships
Academic progress
Travel arrangements
Special educational support
Relationships with teachers
Extracurricular activities
Time with each parent
Sibling arrangements
If both parents have parental responsibility and one objects to the move, the parent proposing the change should not assume that simply submitting an application settles the issue.
Where agreement cannot be reached, a Specific Issue Order may be required to determine which school the child should attend.
Alternatively, the parent opposing the change may consider a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent the child being moved until the court has considered the dispute.
Early advice is particularly important where a place has already been offered or a deadline for accepting it is approaching.
What Is a Specific Issue Order?
A Specific Issue Order is an order made by the Family Court to decide a particular question relating to a child's upbringing.
Schooling is a common example.
A parent may ask the court to decide:
Which school the child should attend
Whether the child should change school
Whether the child should attend a particular type of school
An educational issue linked to relocation
The application is usually made under the Children Act 1989.
The court is not simply choosing between Parent A's school and Parent B's school based on league tables.
Its focus is the child's welfare.
The judge may consider practical arrangements, educational needs, existing relationships, the effect of disruption and how each proposal fits with the child's wider life.
Taylor Rose's family law team specifically advises parents on Specific Issue applications where former partners cannot agree about schooling and other major decisions affecting children.
What Is a Prohibited Steps Order?
A Prohibited Steps Order works differently.
Instead of asking the court to decide that a particular step should happen, it asks the court to prevent someone with parental responsibility from taking a specified step without permission.
In a school dispute, this might be relevant where one parent is attempting to:
Remove the child from their current school
Enrol the child elsewhere
Make an important educational change without agreement
Take another step that could make the dispute harder to reverse
Whether a Prohibited Steps Order or Specific Issue Order is more appropriate depends on what has already happened and what each parent is seeking to achieve.
In some disputes, both issues may need to be considered together.
Should Parents Try Mediation Before Going to Court?
Where there are no safeguarding concerns, mediation can be a useful way of resolving a disagreement about education.
A family mediator does not decide which school the child should attend.
Instead, mediation gives the parents a structured environment in which to discuss their different proposals and try to reach an agreement.
That conversation might consider:
Resolving the matter by agreement can give parents greater control over the outcome and may reduce conflict around future educational decisions.
Before making many applications to the Family Court, a parent will normally need to consider mediation through a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting unless an exemption applies.
Where a school deadline is approaching, however, parents should not allow negotiations to continue indefinitely while available options disappear.
Early legal advice can help establish how much time is realistically available and whether an application needs to be made.
What if a School Application Deadline Is Approaching?
Timing matters considerably in school disputes.
Primary and secondary school applications operate to fixed admissions timetables, and missing a deadline can reduce the child's chances of securing a preferred place.
If parents cannot agree and an application deadline is approaching, they should seek advice as early as possible.
Waiting until a school place has been allocated or the child has already started elsewhere can make the practical situation much harder to resolve.
The next steps may involve urgent negotiation between solicitors, mediation where realistically possible or an application to the Family Court asking it to determine the issue.
The key is not to allow an unresolved dispute between adults to leave the child without a workable education plan.
What Will the Family Court Consider?
Where parents cannot agree which school a child should attend, the Family Court will focus on the child's welfare.
The court is not there to reward one parent or punish the other. It will look at the practical and emotional effect of each proposal and decide what is most likely to serve the child's best interests.
Relevant factors may include:
The child's age
Their wishes and feelings, where appropriate
Their educational needs
Any special educational needs
The impact of changing schools
Existing friendships and support networks
Travel time from each parent's home
Sibling relationships
The effect on time spent with each parent
Before and after-school care
The stability of the proposed arrangements
Any safeguarding concerns
The reasons each parent supports or opposes a particular school
The court may also consider whether either proposal creates unnecessary disruption.
For example, moving a child from a school where they are settled and progressing well may require stronger justification than choosing between two schools before the child has started.
How Does Relocation Affect School Choice?
School disagreements often arise because one parent wants to move.
A relocation within England and Wales can still have a significant effect on a child's education and relationship with the other parent.
A proposed move may mean:
Changing schools
Longer journeys
Different childcare arrangements
Reduced midweek time with one parent
Changes to extracurricular activities
Leaving existing friends
Moving further away from siblings or wider family
A parent should therefore avoid treating relocation and school choice as completely separate issues.
If one parent proposes moving to another area and enrolling the child in a new school, the court may need to consider the overall effect of that plan on the child's welfare.
The fact that a parent is free to choose where they personally live does not necessarily mean they can unilaterally make all consequential decisions about the child's schooling.
What if Parents Disagree About a Faith School?
Disputes can also arise where one parent wants the child to attend a faith school and the other prefers a non-faith school.
Religion can form part of parental responsibility and decisions concerning a child's upbringing.
The court will consider the particular circumstances rather than automatically favouring or rejecting a religious school.
Relevant issues may include:
The child's existing religious upbringing
The family's historical practice
The child's wishes
Educational provision
Admissions criteria
Practical travel arrangements
Whether attendance would materially affect the child's relationship with either parent
Where possible, parents should try to separate the educational question from wider disagreements about their former relationship.
What if Parents Disagree About Private School Fees?
Independent education can create both educational and financial disputes.
One parent may want the child to remain in private education while the other says the fees are no longer affordable after separation.
Alternatively, one parent may want to move the child from a state school to an independent school without agreement on how the fees will be paid.
The question of which school the child should attend can overlap with wider financial issues.
Parents may need to consider:
Whether the child is already established at the school
How long they have attended
Whether fees have historically been paid
Each parent's financial resources
The impact of moving
Other available schools
Whether the proposed arrangement is sustainable
Where school fees form part of a wider financial dispute following divorce or separation, family law advice may be needed alongside the school-choice issue.
Can a School Decide Which Parent to Listen To?
Schools can sometimes become caught in the middle of parental disputes.
Where both parents have parental responsibility, schools will generally need to recognise that both may have rights to information about the child's education.
However, a school is not normally the appropriate body to determine a legal disagreement between parents about major educational decisions.
If the school is informed that there is an active dispute, it may ask to see relevant court orders or seek clarification about parental responsibility.
Parents should provide the school with copies of any order that directly affects education, collection arrangements or contact with the child.
They should also avoid asking teachers or administrative staff to take sides in a dispute that properly belongs between the parents or, if necessary, before the Family Court.
Can One Parent Remove the Other From School Records?
A parent should not assume that separation allows them to exclude another person with parental responsibility from information about the child's education.
Schools may hold contact details for more than one parent and can often provide educational information to a parent with parental responsibility.
There may be exceptions where safeguarding issues or court restrictions apply.
If there is a specific concern about what information should be shared, the school should be given accurate information and copies of relevant court orders.
What if One Parent Has Sole Parental Responsibility?
The position can be different where only one parent has parental responsibility.
That person will generally have greater legal authority to make decisions about the child's education.
However, the circumstances should still be checked carefully.
Another parent may be able to apply for parental responsibility or seek an order relating to the child's upbringing.
Existing Child Arrangements Orders or other court orders may also affect what can be done.
It is therefore important not to assume the legal position solely from where the child lives or how involved each parent currently is.
What Evidence Helps in a School Dispute?
If a school dispute reaches court, practical evidence can be important.
Useful information may include:
School prospectuses
Admissions criteria
Travel times
Public transport information
Ofsted information
Details of special educational provision
Evidence of sibling attendance
Childcare arrangements
Existing school reports
Information about the child's progress
Details of extracurricular activities
Relevant medical or educational reports
A realistic weekly timetable under each proposal
Parents should focus on evidence that relates to the child's welfare.
A long list of criticisms about the other parent may be less useful than a clear explanation of why one school provides a more stable, workable arrangement for the child.
Avoid Making the Child the Messenger
School disputes can become particularly harmful where the child is asked to carry messages between parents or repeatedly questioned about which school they prefer.
Parents should avoid:
Asking the child to choose between them
Telling the child that the other parent is blocking their preferred school
Using school staff to pass hostile messages
Discussing litigation in front of the child
Encouraging the child to reject a school for reasons linked to the adult dispute
Children may have relevant views, especially as they become older, but those views should be considered in an age-appropriate way.
The responsibility for resolving the legal dispute remains with the adults.
Try to Resolve School Choice Early
School decisions are much easier to manage when parents begin discussing them well before application deadlines.
Where possible, parents should:
Visit schools
Review admissions criteria
Compare travel arrangements
Discuss childcare
Consider the child's views appropriately
Look at how each option affects both households
Put proposals in writing
Identify areas of agreement before focusing on disagreements
If direct discussion is difficult, solicitors or a mediator may help narrow the issues.
Leaving the decision until the final days before an admissions deadline can make compromise much harder.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can the parent the child lives with choose the school without asking the other parent?
Not automatically. If both parents have parental responsibility, significant educational decisions should normally involve both of them.
Where they disagree, the fact that the child lives mainly with one parent does not necessarily give that parent the final say.
What happens if we submit different school choices?
Competing applications can create practical difficulties and may not resolve the underlying disagreement.
Parents should contact the relevant admissions authority and seek legal advice if necessary. Where agreement cannot be reached, the Family Court may need to determine the issue through a Specific Issue Order.
Can I stop my ex-partner changing our child's school?
Potentially.
If you have parental responsibility and object to the proposed change, you should raise the issue promptly.
Where necessary, a Prohibited Steps Order may be sought to prevent the move while the dispute is considered by the court.
Does my child get to choose which school they attend?
Not automatically.
The child's wishes and feelings may be considered depending on their age and level of understanding, but the final decision remains focused on their overall welfare.
Older children may have views that carry considerable weight, particularly where a proposed move would significantly affect their education or friendships.
Do we have to attend mediation before going to court?
In many cases, a parent will normally need to consider mediation through a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting before making an application.
There are exceptions, including certain urgent or safeguarding situations.
If a school application deadline is close, legal advice should be obtained early so that the appropriate route can be considered.
What order do I need if we cannot agree on a school?
A Specific Issue Order is commonly used where parents need the court to decide a particular question such as which school a child should attend.
A Prohibited Steps Order may be more appropriate where one parent is seeking to prevent the other from changing the child's school or taking another disputed step.
The correct application depends on the circumstances.
Speak to Taylor Rose About School Choice and Parental Responsibility
Disagreements about schooling can become particularly difficult after separation because they affect a child's daily routine, friendships, education and time with each parent.
Some disputes can be resolved through early discussion, negotiation or mediation. Others require the Family Court to determine the issue through a Specific Issue Order or prevent a proposed change through a Prohibited Steps Order.
Taylor Rose's experienced Family Law team advises parents across England and Wales on child arrangements, parental responsibility, school disputes and other important decisions affecting children.
If you and your former partner cannot agree which school your child should attend, or you are concerned that a school move is being made without your agreement, contact Taylor Rose as early as possible. Early advice can help clarify your legal position, protect important admissions deadlines and focus the dispute on what is best for your child.
